Week 3

June 13, 2026

The dust has finally settled. The shock and disbelief is starting to subside. The pain remains the same, but there is also a flicker of hope. Hope that a new, bigger normal will be built around this unrelenting pain.

What I learned most these last 16 days is that my village is so much bigger than I ever imagined. I've said it before and I'll say it again... I am deeply humbled by the outpouring of love and support we've experienced through this time.

Our grief counselor, who also lost her son, said something profound yesterday. She said that we are still parents. We need to continue to live our lives as parents.

That resonated deeply with me.

I try to always be the most authentic version of myself. It was only over the past few years that I learned what that truly meant, and how to do it.

It is clear to me that my boy, my Ryan, was modeling my behavior.

My interpretation of that statement is to continue to develop and grow myself, not "in honor" of Ryan, but to continue to actively be Ryan's Dad.

His vessel is no longer with us, but I can feel his spirit. It's in me and all around me. It's in the people who were deeply impacted by him.

If you knew Ryan, you felt it too. Ryan never met a stranger. Within minutes of meeting him, you felt like you'd known each other for years.

Through this horrific experience, I've learned how to grieve with grace. I will rebuild my new normal, with the support of my family, friends, and incredibly kind people I have not yet met.

I will continue to nurture this flicker of hope. I will continue to be kind and caring. I will not let this extreme pain and grief make me bitter.

I will continue to be the best dad I can be, for the spirit of my son, Ry.

June 13, 2026

The infamous pocket knife tattoo

Immediately after getting that tattoo, Ryan instantly regretted it. It was an impulsive idea and the placement was awful. It would become the subject of jokes between us and Ryan's friends. Ryan immediately embraced it and played along and ended up owning it completely.

On the day after the memorial, a group of Ryan's friends went to a tattoo studio and ALL got matching tattoos of that pocket knife! It was incredibly heart warming when they sent me these pictures.

I ended up redesigning my memorial tattoo to incorporate the knife. :)

June 18, 2026

Robin and I both got new tattoos to memorialize Ryan. Robin and Ryan's incredibly close bond was forged through the love of football. Robin is a lifelong GA Bulldog fan. Ryan got hooked at the age of 10 and has been a raved fan ever since.